I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
