I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
