yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
