see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
