I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
