i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
