You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
