you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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