so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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