I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
