How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
