I cockslap morals
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
