Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
