these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
