wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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