Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
