I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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