I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
