I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
