He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
