Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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