Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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