69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
