White coat. Heels.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize