Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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