Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
