shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
