I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
