I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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