just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
