do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
