We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
