I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
