hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
