The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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