entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
