some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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