the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
