My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize