they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My ass is underappreciated
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
