i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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