You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there's paper in my vomit.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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