I have demons in me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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