Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
