are you still at the devil's house?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
