Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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