you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
