I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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