WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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