just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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