drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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