u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i think i just lost a toe
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
