We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
