dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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