your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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