How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
