Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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