The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
