I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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