i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
