I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
